Nervous

I hope this guy is good, my last one was crazier than I am and that's really why I quit going, that and the whole, "why I feel fine, why ever do I need these medications" issue. But seriously that woman was really off. Always late. ALWAYS. I don't think I ever had an appointment with her start on time. Even the times when I was the first appointment of the day! I'd have to stand outside the building and wait for her to come strolling down the street... The kicker was the day her pet died and instead of canceling appointments she just keep going and when I rhetorically asked her, "and how are you" she broke down crying. We spent my hour in a complete role reversal. Me passing tissues and murmuring polite words of comfort, her sobbing over the loss of her dear pet. Don't get me wrong--I completely understood it. It was just...well, way too humanizing or something. I don't want to be your friend. I just need you to be my doctor and help me get a handle on this thing called my life. So fingers crossed that this guy will not be a total jerk, fuckwit, tool, quack, asshat, or nutjob. That's MY job in this scenario. Okay?

In preparation for this I've been trying to write down all the little tidbits I should remember to bring up. Family history, personal history, previous medications, etc. Wow. What an awesome exercise to make you feel like a total freak-show. That little (okay long) list of tidbits used to make me so proud--slap that shit down on a table and say, "look what I can survive mother fucker!" kind of proud. I'm just not feeling it today or this week, last month, this year, last year...yeah. Oh I just do not want to have to go have this conversation again. Oh I just want my mom, sister, week of vacation, cat curled up in bed, chicken soup and toast and tea.

Would probably make me look crazier to go in clutching my baby blanket wouldn't it? Damn.

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Something Happy

On the diving back in front, I will now blog about something very happy and creative I worked on this winter. I had an idea for a show and my company Dysfunctional Theatre let me choose my favorite ladies to work with and we went to town. No one was looking over our shoulder telling us what we could or could not do--the company gave us their blessing and we went and wrote a show. A damn fine show if I do say so myself. And did I mention that it was entered in a festival (again, totally unmonitored, unjuried, just bring on the art)? And OH YEAH we sold out. And DOUBLE OH YEAH, we won the Audience Choice Award? Cause we did.

Check out our awesome promo pics on the company site here. And from our favorite photographer Deneka Peniston, production photos!

We're doing Arsenic & Old Lace this June and guess who's Elaine?

More later, shrink finding updates to follow. I know you people only occasionally check this just to find out my mental status...

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